07 February 2004

The trouble with Dennis.

I've had the most difficult time letting go of Dennis Miller. I've always respected him for knowing the limitations of his own talent, thus he is one of the few SNL alums to consciously not make a serious attempt at the big screen. Sure, he's had his missteps, but at least he is willing to take a few chances, and no matter how hard he falls on his face, he manages to protect himself.

And he is also not afraid to admit publicly -- very publicly -- that he has changed greatly in the last few years. He says that the events of 9/11 changed how he views the world and politics. What he means when he says this is that he has become conservative. Uncomfortably conservative. So much so, in fact, that he has stated in the pre-press for his new show on CNBC that he will not make any cracks against George W. Bush. He says he likes the President and he likes the job he's doing.

While any regular readers of this blog know, the value of Bush's presidency is an issue where Dennis and I will disagree. But the idea that a good comedian's politics would somehow make a subject -- any subject -- off-limits just seemed like a really, really bad precedent. I mean, it's not a censorship issue, by any means. It's Dennis' show, so whatever-the-hell he wants to do, that's his prerogative. And it's not like he'd be the first pundit-like semi-comedy, semi-news show to have an agenda. I just didn't see the move coming from Mr. Miller. So though I was surprised and perplexed by Dennis' decision to hold his tongue on all things Bush, I still had a little respect for the guy. What can I say: It's hard for me to say goodbye for good.

So I planned on watching the first week of the new show -- even if it was going to be a "Bush-free zone." I finally tore through the shows on my TiVo recently, so here's some belated thoughts several days after the event. Hey, it's the best I can do, what with the house purchase and all.

The first moment's of the series did not make me any less dubious. You pretty much expected one of his "rants" right off the bat, and a sort of rant came out in his preface, where a chimpanzee, which is credited as a "co-host" on the show, was used as a metaphor for all the balance Dennis hopes to bring to his TV audience. He hopes he can bring some levity and truth to the table, cutting through all the b.s. that we get all the time from politics. Again, these words seem much more hollow with his promise that the current administration will not be harshed on.

The chimpanzee (which he constatly calls a "monkey" over and over throughout the first week of the series -- I hope someone has set him straight by now) is a weak gimmick, and it's hard not to watch the "interaction" between Dennis and the chimp and wonder if, by Thursday, he was re-thinking the idea the same way that David Schwimmer has famously hated "Marcel" from his TV show.

Anyway, after the opening salvo, things got all soft as he lobbed Arnold Schwarzenegger some of the biggest softballs I've ever seen, basically framing questions in this basic fashion: "A lot of people seem to be upset about the Bush administration doing _______, but isn't he completely right to do it that way?" Keeping things nice and safe and basically handing everyone their talking points. Thus enabling them to seem quite earnest when, at the close of the interview, they each pipe up with "Congratulations on the new show, Dennis!"

Dennis attempts a sort of "Weekend Update" news segment he calls "The Daily Rorshach," but on three of the first four nights, it falls incredibly flat. The fact that they've gone without a studio audience makes things a little challenging for him, but we still hear the off-camera giggling of the crew, which always reminds me of the inane Talk Soup -- not a the type of programming that I would think a channel like CNBC necessarily wants to be likened to.

And then there's a panel each night, made up of one conservative (David Horowitz in the first week), one liberal (Naomi Wolf), and one celebrity, sometimes a politician and sometimes an entertainer from Dennis' past. (Martin Short sat in on Thursday night.) This could easily be the best part of the show, where there is the possibility of some good debate from some good minds. Unfortunately, Dennis (or his director) knows nothing about keeping things in any sort of control, and on most nights, when everyone wasn't talking over everyone else, Naomi was pleading with David to please, please, please let her finish her thought without him interrupting, and David insisting to Naomi that he wasn't interrupting.

Dennis was clearly uncomfortable the first couple of nights, but he was slowly finding his bearings by Wednesday night. The show might get better over time, but not without some changes. Like a small studio audience. Or perhaps less limitations on the subject matter. Dennis is still looking for a vehicle that fits as well as his HBO show was. Sadly, this isn't it. The good news, I suppose, is that I'm not going to have to keep watching. One week was enough to know that, conservative bent or not, this show was not a good exploitation of Dennis' strengths.

It's a hard breakup for Dennis and me. Luckily, he's trying to make it as easy as possible.

05 February 2004

Maybe all is right with the world after all.

Some things that make me feel good about the world on this particular day ....

A small, sweet, non-formulaic film received official kudos from Hollywood.
As much as I loved the film (It may have been my favorite film of last year -- but then, I'm a parent and I don't get to see all that many movies!), Lost In Translation not only got some nice Oscar nominations, it actually won a few Golden Globe awards, which probably help its chances to win some "golden naked men with swords."

And even TV got in on the "little-guy" act.
Ricky Gervais' brilliant The Office also got some just desserts. The show is painful to watch sometimes, but in all the best satirical ways. I know I'm in the minority here, but while this show completely works for me, Curb Your Enthusiasm just bores me to tears. (Funny, usually the British show turns me off.) But then, I was never a die-hard Seinfeld fan; I liked the show alright, but my TiVo has never had a season pass for it.

The Bush administration is squirming.
The whole WMD/intelligence/pick-and-choose-to-justify-the-war semi-scandal has really been fun. It feels in some ways like movies where the little guy fighting the vast corporation to prove something he believes to be true finally can rest and catch his breath as all is revealed. Do you know what I mean? And suddenly in the last week, Bush has had to reverse himself on the need for an independent investigation, and in a slightly related reversal, today announced all of a sudden that he supports an extra 60 days for the 9/11 commission to produce its report. And I also just heard that the President's approval ratings dropped below 50% for the first time. (Or was that just "the first time in quite awhile?" I'm not certain.) It's gonna be an interesting summer.

And oh my god ...
I think we just bought a house. The contract isn't signed yet, but both parties have agreed to the terms. More on this soon, I'm sure. Yeah. Feeling pretty good.

02 February 2004

The winner of the Superbowl: Muhammad Ali.

[I'm going to avoid discussion of Janet Jackson's boob right now ... and possibly for ever. This topic will undoubtedly be exhausted by the rest of the online and offline media in the next 48 hours. Good thing Howard Dean didn't do it, eh?]

A lot of "pre-game analysis" of this year's Superbowl commercials has focused on this being the 20th anniversary of the ground-breaking Apple Macintosh commercial. I still watch this commercial occasionally and am still impressed by it. And how many ads from 1984 do you think you could say that about? Not many, I assure you. And no ads this year carry that same kind of impact. There were a couple of surprises and a few interesting trends, but for the most part, the commercials that ended up showing didn't live up to the hype.

The most hyped element of this year's crop was the appearance of all three drugs for erectile dysfunction. Boy, did that turn out to be a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. Levitra had Mike Ditka talking to the camera, and Cialis just used an extended version of the commercial it has already been running. And Viagra? what happened to Viagra? They must have pulled out at the last moment, because there were no ads for it at all.

Oh wait -- there was one erectile dysfunction drug ad that was spectacular. In fact, it was, in my humble yet accurate opinion, the best ad of the entire evening. The music was current and inspirational. The main images -- a series of black-and-white images of hot men, sometimes alone, sometimes with sexy, lingerie-clad women coming in for the seductive, sweaty kiss -- were interlaced with some nods to recent culture: Five men walking in a line a la the Fab Five (they were even targeting gay men! How progressive!); a Keanu Reeves lookalike with slow-motion, pinpoint-precision moves; and Muhammad Ali "dancing" in the ring. (More on Ali in a moment.) Over all of that, you heard this:
Voiceover: You know the feeling. Every guy's had it. You're unbeatable. Unstoppable. You've got that walking-on-water feeling. You look, they smile. You win, They go home.
Wow. Now that is some seriously effective text. I know I'm ready to down a handful of these babies! Even the lyrics to the song playing underneath get the poing across:
The feeling that you get when you're at your very best. "
A unified message! And with the images, it's just damn sexy. Back to the ...
Voiceover: Yeah. and once you had that feeling, you want it back. There's nothing like it. It's the best.
Wow. I'm already half-undressed and preparing to go attack my wife. Just tell me, tell me, where can I get the drug?

Oh. Wait. The voiceover goes on ...
Voiceover: It's the feeling you get every day with the world's best shave. Mach 3 Turbo. It's like an angel by your side. Every move is smooth. every word is cool. Song lyrics: "The best and nothing less." Voicover: Yeah. I never want to lose that feeling. it's the best, man."
And then the familiar Gillette logo comes up on the screen: "The best a man can get."

This commercial pushed all my buttons. I think I watched it five times, and even made Laura come in and watch it. And I just wished that any of the actual ED drugs had taken a chance with something as effective as this ad. And the best news of all: I already use that razor!

I'm not sure where Mr. Ali has been, but he's back strong now: Not only was he in the Mach 3 ad, he also appeared in two other spots -- MTV's "Choose to Vote" campaign that led into the halftime show, and a surprisingly effective spot from IBM about Linux. In these two spots, he appeared in his current-day form, and he looked very, very sharp. Even his language seemed sharper (though he wasn't talking very much). I predict a major resurgence of ads for Ali over the course of this year.

After the Gillette ad, here were my other favorites, in order:

2. IBM & Linux.
In a completely white space, a boy sits on a chair, watching a TV with old black-and-white footage of Muhammad Ali -- intercut shots of him boxing and him making one of his taunt-like "speeches" to the press. The boy is startling -- white-blond hair, white skin, piercing blue eyes, freckles -- in every physical way, the opposite of Ali. As the pitch increases, we see and hear a young Ali on TV say: "I shook up the world! I shook up the world!" Suddenly, the TV has disappeared and a present-day Ali is sitting in a chair facing the boy. He smiles and exclaims to the kid: "Shake things up! Shake up the world!" It's such a beautiful and inspirational spot that the Linux element of the ad doesn't matter -- it's just an amazingly positive image for Big Blue. Speaking of which: Not only does IBM now co-own the color blue (they share it with American Express), they have also taken effective control of the letterbox on your TV screen. The men and women who do their ads are truly inspired. (2nd quarter)

3. NFL Network: Tomorrow.
Dallas Cowboys' coach (Bill Parcells) and owner (Jerry Jones) break into the famous song from Annie. Soon they are joined by many other football players in different locales, doing different things, but all singing (to greater but mostly lesser success) the song. The visuals conclude with a Jerry Jones double doing back handsprings across a football field. The text on the screen "As of tomorrow, we're all undefeated again." Truly inspiring! The NFL Network will be quite successful, I believe. Major League Baseball will have to catch up in a hurry. (Halftime)

4. Office Max: Rubberband Man.
My love for this ad suprised me. The Spinners' famous mid-70s disco tune plays over many shots of a cool, big-afro'd office supply guy wheeling his wares through a large corporate high-rise, dropping off just the right item to workers just as they need it, and dancing and generally loving his work. Tagline at the end: "What's Your Thing?" The ad simultaneously makes you want to get up and dance with him -- and then watch it again to see what little moments you missed. Definitely leaves a lasting impression -- just a little better than Staples' ad (which was also good). (Halftime)

5. iTunes/Pepsi: Busted Kids.
Over Green Day's cover of "I Fought the Law," we see several posed shots of the kids who were recently busted by the RIAA for illegally sharing music on the Internet. One girl identifies herself, her crime, and then announces that they are planning on continuing to download music for free, "and there's not a thing anybody can do about it." A great way to launch Pepsi & iTunes' campaign to give away 100 million songs from the iTunes music store. A real coup. (1st quarter)

6. Monster.com: I Feel Love.
Donna Summer's "I Feel Love" plays over a series of very stylish images. I was surprised to see Monster.com -- or any dotcom, for that matter -- back in the Superbowl this year. Monster.com trusts pretty much at this point that you know what they do, so they can now frame themselves more with image. And they're doing a damn fine job of it. (3rd quarter)

7. Pepsi: Seattle 1953.
Young boy walking down a street sees two soda machines on opposite sides of the street, both offering bottles for 10 cents. One is Coke, one is Pepsi. He looks back and forth a few times and finally decides on the Pepsi. As he tips his head back to drink it, he sees an electric guitar in the window of a guitar shop. Cue strains of Jimi Hendrix, as kid, who you suddenly realize is the spitting image of an 11-year-old Hendrix, falls in love with guitar in window. He looks across the street, and you see an accordion shop as an accordion version of the same Hendrix song plays. Text on the screen reads: "Whew. That was a close one." Pepsi continues to do a great job of winning the style war over the bigger, better-known brand. This oughta get them a few points closer. (4th quarter)

8. H&R Block. Willie Nelson Advice Doll. This one requires you know Nelson's tax troubles from several years ago. Several people consult a Willie "action figure" that gives a Magic 8 Ball-like response to their tax questions. Of course, the doll answers positively to some outlandish, most-definitely-illegal schemes. Kudos to Willie for taking the chance on banking on his troubles. That's what makes for a good ad. (If only Jessica Simpson had had the guts. with her Pizza Hut/Muppets ad!) (1st quarter)

9. Honda. Pilot: Feral husband.
Wife explains to interviewer that the Pilot was the right car for them because her husband was raised by wolves. Many scenes show the man with wolf tendencies living in our normal world: He chases a possum under the Honda, he laps up water from the office water cooler spigot, he plays with squeaky dog toys while typing on his office computer. The crowning moment is when his son throws a rock into a lake on a camping trip ... and he bounds in after it without hesitation. The ad doesn't tell you much about the Pilot, but it wins the humor award for the night, hands-down. (4th quarter)

10. Visa: Snow Beach Volleyball.
Four volleyball players march across the frozen tundra, strip down to their beach volleyball outfits, and start digging, setting, spiking, and diving in the snow. A wayward shot lands the ball in the water. A quick game of "evens and odds" is won by Misty, meaning that Kerri must go into the water to get the ball. The Visa voiceover guy announces: "Can't wait for this summer's olympic games? Neither can we." Just the sound of this guy's voice reminds us of Visa's close relationship with the Olympic games, and this ad works as a perfect reminder of that relationship, along with a building anticipation of the coming games this summer. (2nd quarter)

01 February 2004

Words that feel good in the mouth.

I haven't been writing anything of much substance recently, but I hope to get back to it soon. We have been focused on the purchase of a house ... and we will be putting an offer down today. More on that later ... Meanwhile, class, here is your lesson. Remember, use these words in a sentence three times during the course of your day, and they will be yours.
Fortuitous.
Spatula.
Indefatigable.
Addendum.
Clever.
Colloidal.
Inflection.
Lugubrious.
Endeavor.
Chuckle.
Cacophony! (How can you write it wihtout the exclamation point?)